It's a constant battle to maintain feeling good about "you." However, feeling good about yourself is a "powerful weapon" in the battle against someone else not thinking positive about "you" and putting "you" down with words?
When an opponent is constantly "belittling or criticizing" your character, it can impact your psyche. You begin to question yourself and ask "is that me." You hear it repeatedly and before long you might start to believe it.
I term it -- psychic warfare -- resulting from the constant battle fought against the opponent's words used to attack the psyche.
The mind can be vulnerable to criticism. If you look in the mirror and perceive yourself as ugly, most likely, you will believe the mirror image. When someone is constantly throwing degrading words at you, it has the same effect as the mirror image. Why, because you believed it.
We care "how" others view us. When others think well of us we tend to feel good about ourselves based on how "they" feel about us. On the contrary-- their not thinking positive about us has the opposite effect.
So how do you maintain positive self-esteem amid the opposition?
First
Know yourself. It helps for "you" to know who you are; not to allow people to define you, but to define yourself.
It's important to stand your ground of "knowing who you are." Being able to define yourself is "powerful ammunition" that can be used to battle the opposition.
For example: If someone constantly tells you that you're stupid and you know you're not, convey "your knowingness" to the person: " what's your thought of me, however, that's not how I view myself and I won't accept your degrading comments as being who I am; I won't allow your words to bring "me" down to the level that you're attempting to bring me."
Second
Don't "own" other people's thoughts about you; claim your own. Of course, if you own someone else's view of you, (if you are lazy) and you "want" to change it, then work on changing it; not because you feel forced, but because you feel a personal need to change it.
It's not an easy battle to always lift "you" up against degradation by others; in fact, it can be difficult-- especially when you're being bombarded constantly with disparaging words, and if the battle consists of several opponents throwing darts at your psyche; it can become overwhelming.
The thing is-- we don't have control over other people's perceptions and mean-spiritedness; people act and react for various reasons. Words can be directed toward us out of anger, dislike, jealousy, envy, or a person's personal issues. "Owning" who you are against those reasons is your best defence.
Third
Believing-- Don't believe the hype. If you believe what people say about you, it indicates that you "don't know who you are." Or as stated, what people are saying might be true, it might -- be you; people tend to call things as they are. So if the hype is true, you might want to change the truth.
Your "self-esteem" belongs to you, and yes other peoples words can brush up against it, but the brush only has control over your "self-esteem" if you allow it to have control. Don't "believe" the hype about you-- if it's not your hype-- stand your ground.
Written by Betty Alark
Author of the photo: George Hodan
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