How to Fix Your Relationship

Sometimes relationships work often they don't.

The reasons are complex.

Relationships require constant work;

the work is a constant effort to keep

the connection a positive one.

We all have our ups and downs.

If that were not the case

what would we work towards?

The effort to keep relationships

constantly moving in a positive direction

can become a battle of wear and tear.

A loose thread in a relationship

can cause frustration and disappointment,

leaving a couple faced with a problem,

calling for resolution.

Feelings are strong emotions that

keep us attached to one another.

It's not always easy to remedy

what we feel when our ego has been

bruised by the one we love.

At the moment of feeling bruised emotions,

choice comes into play --

am I going to hang in there and work

this out or do I walk away.

In the moment of choice,

we come face to face with self.

Like a reflection in a mirror

we glimpse who self is being.

If we are looking at self and

not the other person, we

reflect on our own actions.

Think about it for a moment.

Isn't it true that when you have an argument

or disagreement and you temporarily

distance yourself to reflect on the situation,

that you're left with "yourself"

to ponder the details?

Within those moments of pondering,

don't you see yourself?

Aren't you evaluating

how you might have acted or reacted

to cause the thread to loosen?

When I look at myself in a relationship

what that reveals to me

is that I'm constantly learning and growing.

Life is teaching me what it wants me to learn

in order for me to become a more knowledgeable, wiser person.

It's only when I don't see myself

due to denial, pride, selfishness or naivety

that the thread in the relationship continues to become unravelled

because I'm not growing;

I'm not becoming more responsible and accountable.

Ultimately, the relationship is severed

due to a lack of not seeing "me."

That's not to say that the relationship is being severed

solely on me not seeing myself,

my significant other might not

be willing to look at self.

The fact remains,

no matter what the reasons might be,

if you're observing yourself in the relationship,

your reflection will bring you face to face with the inner you

and cause you to grow beyond whatever the reason might be.

The same stands true for relationships that work.

No matter what the reasons are,

you were constantly looking at "self" along the way

or it wouldn't have worked.

Each person in the relationship

needs to come face to face with self

in order to make things better.

Then, perhaps they can come back,

together!

Written by Betty Alark

How to Have Unity in Relationships - Working Things Out

We have our moments,
but we've always worked things out

A big part of having unity in relationships,
Is being able to relate and communicate with one another effectively

Yes, we have our moments that momentarily distance us,
Howbeit, after we get a handle on our emotions, assess the situation and
evaluate what we need to do next, eventually, we come back together,
talk and work things out.

There's no hurdle that's come our way that we haven't conquered,
no obstacle that our love hasn't defeated.

So, let's not allow this molehill to turn into a mountain,
our love is stronger than that.

We can still work things out, right?
Let's talk!

Written by Betty Alark

Photo by Aubrey Kirkham

The Good Things You Do Override Your Faults

We have our ups and downs,
not always seeing eye to eye.
Often disagreeing
both vying for our individual opinion.

It's at those times our emotions,
our ego comes into play.
We find ourselves feeling sorry for
the things we said to one another.

We temporarily distance ourselves
to reflect on our wounds;
After reflecting upon the moment,
what overshadows my emotions, my ego
is all the good things you've done for me.

I see your heart!
Your heart overshadows
any complaint I might have
regarding your imperfections and mine.

Nevertheless, the complaint remains,
it still needs to be addressed.
We need to come together,
not keep the complaint at bay.

In order to move forward,
we need to address the complaint;
so it doesn't continue to haunt us.

Let's not allow our differences-- lead us astray;
we can come together and hear
the complaint that needs to be said.

I'm big enough to forgive
the temporary wounding of my ego,
my hope is-- that you are too.

Our unity means more to me,
than any harsh words could possibly say.

Our commitment, our devotion,
our love to one another,
is what I hope will triumph over the dispute.

So here is my complaint--
please don't turn a death ear
when I express things that matter to me,
objectively consider its value to me.
.

Keep in mind--
your heart overshadows the complaint being expressed,
any changes will just make our relationship stronger,
and old habits will be laid to rest.

Your heart overshadows
any complaints I have about you.

When it's my turn to hear your complaints,
I'll remember the thing
I've asked of you.

Let's keep in mind the greater things,
that compliment you and I!

Written by Betty Alark

Photo by: Yana Ray